M, the begining

I first met M when I was 15. He was a hired singer at my church for Christmas. He was 20-something, breathtakingly handsome, polite, friendly, with an amazing voice, and all the adult women were batting their eyes. I was helping the choirmaster's husband locate decorations and carry supplies when M offered to help. He and I went out to their van to bring in more decorations and he gave me a jacket because it was drizzling. I was instantly smitten. I was also devastated moments later when his wife complained loudly, "Why is she wearing that jacket?!?" When he explained that he had given it to me and why, the look she gave me scared the hell out of me. I didn't speak to him again that year, but he was hired again the next two Christmases and my crush deepened.

The summer I turned 19 I lost my virginity to the choirmasters son. In an unrelated incident my brother had a minor accident in our family van involving someone's parked car. On Saturday morning my mom called M (and I still don't know how she had his number, and it weirds me out when I think about it too much) because he worked at a car repair shop and asked him to look at the damage. My brother chickened out at the last minute so I took the van over all alone. I was both excited and nervous to be going alone. M offered me a tour of his place: Kitchen, bathroom, living room, and finally the bedroom. I was in the doorway and he stood behind me and placed one had on my shoulder and said, "this is the bedroom, and that's my bed" then he guided me back facing the kitchen where I noticed that he had two loaded water guns sitting on the kitchen counter. To this day he insists that he had them because he was expected two kids and thought we'd enjoy them. He also insists that I started the water fight with him, and he could be right, my heart was racing, blood pounding in my ears, and having only had one sexual partener but having vast experience teasing I probably did start it. He finished it though- aiming only for my chest and private parts. When the guns were empty he reasized that he couldn't send me home in that condition and offered to put my clothes in the dryer. He took my shorts and teeshirt, but only gave me a long tee to put on. He returned from the dryer in the basement and stood behind me in front of a full length mirror. His hands barely touching my thighs, but burning me none the less. He kissed my neck and my knees went weak. I must have made some sort of sigh or moan, nothing I could hear above the sound of my blood pounding in my ears, but clearly he sensed my excitement. The borrowed shirt was removed, quickly followed by my bra and panties. My mind was racing: I should be home, I should say stop, I've never been persued like this, but oh my god is he beautiful - his arms, his chest, those abs then he took his shorts off and I saw him. It was big, really big and I was scared. I should tell him to stop, I should find my clothes, I shouldn't be letting his lips travel all over my body, but god it felt good and I couldn't help it. I was laying back on his bed and he was moving up my body, getting closer to a position that would mean penetration, and as I was about to stop him our eyes locked and I saw something there - he looked scared too, nervous and filled with awe - and my heart and willpower melted in that instant. He entered me, and while I had not been a virgin for several months, I had been celebit for the previous month and he filled me much more than my boyfriend had. It was an amazing experience. He never did look at the van.